Event photography etiquette

Hi everyone, I've been doing photography for over a decade but event photo only about one year. When I'm shooting a smaller event 20-40ppl with flash, I can sense my presence is not always welcome, I understand that a flash can be annoying when you're just trying to chat /drink /eat. I struggle with small events because on one hand I want the client to feel like I'm working and I'm worth their money but I don't want to annoy all the guests by constantly photographing them. I can see them get self conscious. Sometimes I back off, stand by the side or hide somewhere to give them some peace, but I don't want the client to feel like I'm not there to catch the moment. How do yall more experienced event photographers deal or feel about this?